


I got the good side of things

by Internetmeep



Series: Benway/Ballum journey [5]
Category: EastEnders (TV) RPF
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Relationship Reveal, Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-08 03:58:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19863130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Internetmeep/pseuds/Internetmeep
Summary: Callum and Whitney's wedding was going as smoothly as any other. But when someone walked in a little late, could this be the start of something else entirely?





	I got the good side of things

**Author's Note:**

> So in this there is a little ambiguity as to whether Callum actually cheated on Whitney or not so for the purpose of this making sense he very much wanted to, maybe they started but he didn't actually cheat but it was enough to realise what he is missing

fic fic ficcity fic lets write a fic oh boy here we go

* * *

Callum hates wedding planning. Because every small decision, reminds him of someone who isn't his wife to be. He couldn't help it to be fair. Ben was becoming a problem. Every choice he was forced to help make, Ben influenced his answer. Callum couldn't even be certain Ben would go to the wedding. The whole square could see how this was effecting him. Not that anyone knew there was more to the way Ben was acting than his grief.

A few weeks since from the anniversary of Paul's death, and with that Ben's actions tamed a little but it remained unlikely to find him sober. Jay and Lola were getting worried about him yet he was denying anything being wrong and with that, there wasn't a whole lot they could do to help him.

With every passing day Callum's wedding was creeping closer, and the people around him couldn't help but notice how nervous he was getting as the big day neared. Most figured it was just his personality shining through. No one thought to ask. It was just easier to keep going, pretend he was doing the right thing. Maybe if he tried hard enough he'd start believing it two.

Who was he kidding? His entire life he'd been living like that. Praying if he tried hard enough to be what his family wanted to be that it would get easier. That one day he wouldn't have to try anymore. But no matter how hard he tried with Whitney, he couldn't feel the way about her that his brother and the rest of the square saw from them. They were a dream couple, yet no matter how hard he tried he didn't see what people meant.

Then Ben came along. Ben appeared and all of a sudden, for the first time in his life he didn't have to try in order to love someone. Everything he felt for Ben was simple and easy and wrong. Loving someone like him was wrong. Feeling like this for someone other than Whitney was so wrong. Yet he couldn't help it. 

Feeling like that brought with it a lot of questions regarding his relationship with Whitney. First he assumed it was the sexual attraction wasn't the same. He could love Whitney without feeling a rush every time she got anywhere near him. Not every couple care about sex that much and he had nothing to compare it to. Maybe he just wasn't that interested in that side of relationship.

Well that changed with Ben. Their first night together he found his hands clawing at Ben's clothes, wishing them off him. For the first time in his life he needed that with someone. Okay maybe that changed his perception of how he felt about Whitney but he still loved her. Right?

Well he definitely thought he did. But maybe he wasn't entirely sure what It meant to love someone. This was something he spent the weeks leading up to his wedding trying to work out.

If he was being honest with himself. He knew that what he had with Whitney wasn't what he wanted. But just because he wanted to be with Ben didn't mean it was the right thing. At least when he was with Whitney he was making his dad and brother proud. Though did he really want to put in all that effort considering how easily they treat people like dirt? People he cares about.

The closer the wedding got, the less time he was able to spend with Whitney. Everything was getting too much but he did his best to keep it together. People noticed his change in behaviour though. It was scary. Watching someone make the biggest mistake of their life, not completely knowing why but seeing he lacked the excitement that is expected of someone planning their wedding. 

Mick was the one to do something about it. Finishing up his shift, after serving Callum a number of drinks that in his opinion seemed too many, he sent Callum upstairs and closed up shop.

"So, we ain't blind Callum. I can see something is up with you, and I think it's about the wedding." Mick started, not wanting to be invasive but feeling that Callum would never talk through his concerns without a push.

Callum sighed, not really wanting to talk but at the same time, trusting Mick to not take this further than the room.

"I don't think I can marry Whitney..."

Mick jumped in quick, explaining everything Callum had heard before, about how it was just nerves and every groom felt like this at some point. Callum couldn't blame him, he wasn't to know that everything wasn't that simple. Mick eventually stopped, seeing the look of guilt plastered all over Callum's face.

"Don't tell me you cheated on her?" Mick piped up, realisation hitting him in the face like a brick. Callum wasn't just nervous, he was genuinely unsure if marrying her was the right thing to do.

"Not exactly..." Callum muttered, at this point feeling very embarrassed with himself and the secret that he was so close to revealing. He was beginning to regret even saying anything but knew Mick would have gotten it out of him somehow.

"So what's going on then, Son?" Mick asked, more confused then when we started.

"Well I erm, I kissed someone" Callum started

"Oh well, tell her that, tell her it didn't mean anything and continue with the wedding... That's unless it did mean something"

"I..."

"I see, is it anyone we know?" Mick asked, in slight shock but wanting to get the full details. He wasn't about to be outwardly judging Callum for his actions but Mick really didn't think he was the type to even look at another girl.

"I can't tell you" Callum started, knowing he would have to come out and that Mick could tell everyone. He then remembered he was being silly and Mick is only trying to look out for him

"Ben Mitchell" He muttered, voice barely above a whisper

"Are you kidding me? Ben Mitchell? He's bad news Halfway" Mick reminded, barely even processing what that meant about Callum.

"So... You're gay? and you didn't know til what? Ben started his little charm act with you like he does everyone else?"

"I knew before then I guess. But I was convinced I loved Whitney, convinced myself I could be the person everyone wanted me to be. But now. I think I could marry her, I mean I do really care about her, plus the wedding is so soon I can't just cancel it now. She's spent so much money for this to be perfect. You can't tell anyone Mick, swear you won't"

He'd decided. Nothing Mick could say would change his mind, and so he thanked him and left him to process the sheer amount of information given, going home to his fiance Okay he would devastate Ben in his decision, probably hurt himself a lot whilst he's at it but the decision was made.

He wanted Whitney to be happy, and despite everything he had done, wasn't ready to lose his brother at least not yet.


End file.
